A Glimpse of God as Community, a Creative Action, an Embodied Feeling.
I’d like to share my spiritual curiosity, tiny glimpses into moments of experiencing …the Divine. Adonai, Yud-Hay-Vav-Hay, Our Father Our King, Shechinah, Ein Sof, there are so many more names for the unutterable name of God.
Several weeks ago, I spoke with my rabbi and we discussed the different ways people struggle to feel and believe in God. For many, myself included, it is truly impossible to label, put God in a box, describe or define what God is.
I thought back to when I was a youth where there was a pivotal moment. I joined an Israeli folk dance circle in my Hebrew school courtyard. It was the popular traditional Mayim dance - the dance that offers gratitude to God for bringing precious water to the desert.
Through rhythm, posture, movement and breath, I felt an inner spark of light and life that was so palpable. I loved belonging to this moving circle, part of a community that came together sharing both gratitude and joy,
I glimpsed God as community, a creative action-an embodied feeling.
Some of you might feel something similar while playing tennis, or running, being part of a team, or performing an activity that you love. Psychologists have termed this a ‘flow state”, when all time disappears and you are in the center of the center of yourself.
What makes spiritual dance or yoga unique from sport and other activities, is that within its very mission statement is the intention to come closer to knowing God. Musician and composer Ravi Shankar, wrote, “Through the practice of yoga, we come to feel that we are part of something much larger, and that is the essence of understanding God realizing that we are not separate from the Divine.”
Someone who seeks a direct union with the Divine is called a mystic. Throughout history, mystics rejected rigid forms of prayer, pursuing a transcendent experience. Mystical practices and rituals may include fasting, meditation, chanting, sacred dance, contemplative prayer and yes, yoga!
I have felt mystical, ecstatic moments while practicing yoga. Moments when my mind and body sort of synchronized like I am balancing at a still point in the center of a storm. It feels spacious and holy.
Mysticism can be found in many religions, including Judaism’s esoteric tradition of Kabbalah. Many scholars suggest that Kabbalists from the Middle Ages sought a more transcendental path to understanding God. This approach was possibly a counter response to the rational philosophy of medieval physician/rabbi Maimonides, and the intellectuals of the time. 16th century Kabbalist, Rabbi Isaac Luria introduced the concept of kavanah - setting an intention for personal and direct prayer. Rebbe Nachman of Breslov advised practicing hitbodedut - going into nature to spontaneously, authentically and freely converse with God. Nachman recommended daily communing with God for spiritual growth and self-understanding.
These days, my ritual upon awakening includes sitting on my yoga mat. A yoga mat is just a 2 by 6 foot rubber composite, but it represents so much more than that… It is a space that invites us to return and show up, put aside material callings, create a kavanah or spiritual intention. For the month of Elul, the last month in the Jewish calendar which precedes Rosh Hashanah, my practice included listening to the spiritual liturgy that prepares us for the Days of Awe. I listened to a shofar blast with the kavanah to awaken, to return for the New Year, a ritual performed by many Jews during the month of Elul. When the shofar blower connects to their breath, we can fine tune the instrument of our bodies, to be an open channel, curious and receptive.
I sit. I breathe. I listen…..Ayekah - Where are you? …Ayekah - Are you hiding?
I sit. I breathe. I listen….Hineni. Here I am. Hineni.
There have been a few crucial moments in my life when I was in serious physical and emotional trouble. One time was during my pregnancy with our second child. In excruciating pain and unable to nourish myself and this unborn baby, I was hospitalized and on intravenous feeding support. I would be in bed for hours, surfing the hospital TV programs, relieved when I finally came upon a meditation channel - guiding me to cope and soothe the physical and emotional pain of this dire situation. I was desperate. A friend suggested I request to see the pastoral rabbi. At the far end of my rope, I was cracked open and willing to receive any Divine intervention possible.
Ayekah… Please, God come out from hiding. Ayekah.
These lyrics from a song, Laughing With by Regina Spektor really speak to this moment:
No one laughs at God in a hospital - No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God when they’re starving or freezing or so very poor
No one laughs at God when the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one’s laughing at God when it’s gotten real late when their kids not back from the party yet…
No one laughs at God when their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake….
….No one’s laughing at God when there’s a famine, fire, or a flood….
I was not laughing. I was trembling. After the rabbi came, he said I would receive some visitors. For several days, Orthodox Jewish women from Brooklyn came carrying their thermoses of homemade chicken soup. They were performing the good deed or mitzvah of visiting the sick. From these kind strangers came nourishing food, and just at the right time. Miraculously and shortly after ….I started to improve and the inflammation and pain eased. My doctor said, what did you do? I said I don’t know? I asked for the rabbi. He said, keep doing whatever you are doing. I glimpsed God as community, a creative action - an embodied feeling.
Hineni…. Healing comes in mysterious ways. Was this a gift from above? …Hineni. Hineni.
A reading from a prayer book from the Reform Movement:“Oh God, how can we know You? Where can we find You? You are as close to us as breathing, yet You are farther than the farther-most star. You are as mysterious as the vast solitudes of night, yet as familiar to us as the light of the sun…Your goodness passes before us in the realm of nature, and in the varied experiences of our lives.”
Whether from the congregational pews, a hospital bed, the yoga mat, a majestic place in nature, a sacred site, we can all come just a little bit closer to glimpse the spacious and awesome consciousness of God.